Episode 73 - The Case of the Mistaken Identity of Your Future Self Artwork

Managing the Smart Mind

In this podcast, master certified coach, speaker and trainer Else Kramer shares strategies from her coaching practice for people with smart minds. This podcast is geared towards gifted adults - and the people who work with them. She discusses how to avoid bore-out and burnout, how to love your fast brain whilst accepting some of the challenges it may bring, and how to design a life that perfectly supports your smart mind. She also advocates for wider understanding and acceptance of giftedness, and neurodiversity in general. Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer works with people and companies from all over the world and is based in Rotterdam, the Netherlands. She has a degree in Philosophy from King's College London, built a successful business from scratch, loves LEGO, Japan and many more things. In addition to being gifted she's autistic, with a sprinkling of ADHD, and she loves to speak about neurodiversity and giftedness in the workplace. You can find her on Linkedin, or via her website, coachkramer.org.

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Managing the Smart Mind

Episode 73 - The Case of the Mistaken Identity of Your Future Self

May 11, 2023 • Else Kramer • Season 1 • Episode 73

You’re here because you want to change.

You know that you have so much potential and that your life can be better.

And a lot of coaching teaches you to

=> decide who you want to become

=> visualise it as often and as vividly as you can

=> start acting ‘as-if’ and live into it

=> take action for it to become a reality

Well, that is all very lovely in theory.

But to most smart humans, the question of ‘Who they want to become’ is a massive mystery.

Listen in to today's Episode to learn how to solve this conundrum and find your true Future Self.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Episode 35 - Optimising for the Wrong Things
Episode 48 - Troubleshooting Visualisation

Ready to learn how to Manage your Smart Mind? Then download my free 'Mapping Your Unique Brain' Workbook. Go to:
https://www.coachkramer.org/brainmap to get access.

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Episode 73 - The Case of the Mistaken Identity of Your Future Self

Yes, I have read a lot of murder mysteries. My brain loves them.

So today’s title is definitely a nod to Arthur Conan Doyle, Agatha Christie and all the other epic detective writers.

We’ve got a missing person case - and an identity mixup.

But let’s peddle back a bit first.

You’re here because you want to change.

You know that your life can be better.

And a lot of coaching teaches you to

=> decide who you want to become

=> visualise it as often and as vividly as you can

=> start acting ‘as-if’ and live into it

=> take action for it to become a reality

Well, that is all very lovely in theory.

But to most smart humans, the question of ‘Who they want to become’ is a massive mystery.

They don’t have a cookie-cutter dream of spending the rest of their life poolside with a pina colada.

And they also don’t have a clear alternative.

So this whole prescription of getting a better life actually fails to work right at the first step you’re supposed to take.

Now you may have taken this step anyway - but mistaken someone else’s identity for yours.

You have seen so many similar versions of ‘dream lives’ on social media, in popular culture, etc. that you may think that this is what you SHOULD be desiring.

The villa, the travel, the expensive cars or handbags.

Your future self is someone else’s idea of a future self.

Or, more accurately: it’s an advertiser's idea of a future self.

No wonder you have a hard time visualising it - let alone taking action for it to become a reality.

You’re trying to work towards a future self that isn’t what you truly desire.

(BTW check out my podcast Episode 48 troubleshooting visualisation about internalised oppression etc.)

So the missing person case is this: we need to find YOU.

What do YOU truly want and desire for yourself?

Underneath all the cultural conditioning, peer pressure and other people’s shoulds - what do YOU want for YOU?

Now it may be hard to access this because of trauma - in which case I strongly advise you to work through that with a therapist first.

It may also be hard to access your true desire because you’re so accustomed to helping other first.

It may not even be in your mental vocabulary to want things ‘just’ for you.

And to want them ‘just because’.

Not because they’re strategically smart.

Not because they’re good for your growth.

Not because they’re beneficial for your family.

Because you fucking want them.

(BTW if this is you you also want to check out episode 35 - optimising for the wrong things).

I have a deep desire for art and beauty in my life, for example.

I could try and justify that (and probably do a pretty good job too), but I don’t need to.

I get to decide what I want - and I don’t need to explain or justify my desires to anyone else.

The same goes for you.

Maybe you have a deep desire for simplicity and safety.

Then a future self who is the CEO of a multi-million dollar company with apartments around the globe probably is a case of mistaken identity.

Instead, I want you to start dreaming about the most delightful shapes simplicity and safety can take for you - and build your vision for your future self from there.

Maybe you yearn for complexity and excitement instead.

Same drill.

And if desire is too triggering, longing may be an easier place to start.

It’s less intense to consider.

So ask yourself:

What do you long for?

What do you wistfully wish you had more of?

Here are some from my list:

More walks on the beach.

More time looking at art.