Episode 59 - A week in the life of your smart, neurodivergent coach and podcast host

In the run-up to the One-Year Anniversary of the podcast I asked you what you'd like me to talk about - and this was one of them.

What does my week look like?
How do I make things work with my unique smart mind?

Tune in to learn all about how I've organised things to do what I'm best at, and to learn how these have evolved into my personal Rules for Living:

1. Decide as much as you can ahead of time;
2. Switch things up to keep your brain engaged;
3. Batch activities as much as possible; 
4. Automate or delegate ANYTHING that you’re not great at;
5. Figure out your own ideal conditions in which you can thrive; 
6. UNDERschedule instead of overscheduling - create lots of buffer space;
7. Do as many of the things that light you up as you possibly can;
8. Use simple ‘prompts’ to instantly get you in the right state, e.g. perfume, music, etc. 
9. Accept your own wants, needs and desires. 

Resources mentioned in this Episode (no, not sponsored, I just share these because I absolutely LOVE them):

Sony WH-1000XM3 Noise-cancelling headphones
Headspace
Pukka Tea

Ready to learn how to Manage your Smart Mind? Then download my free 'Mapping Your Unique Brain' Workbook. Go to:
https://www.coachkramer.org/brainmap to get access.

Are you interested in working with me? Click here.

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Transcript

Episode 59 - A Week in the Life of your Smart, Neurodivergent Coach and Podcast Host

Welcome to this episode of the managing the smart mind podcast with Master Certified Coach Else Kramer, a.k.a. Coach Kramer. 

Hello smart human and welcome to this one-year anniversary Episode. 

I am so proud and delighted that I’ve been able to consistently create valuable content for you AND that it has now been discovered by smart humans in 95 (95!!!) different countries. 

Just looking at the stats here, and we’re at almost 17.5K downloads, which is worth a celebration in itself. 

So, THANK YOU listeners from 95 countries and 1683 cities. I so, so appreciate you! And I’d love to meet you - more about that later. 

In the run-up to this anniversary, I asked you what you would like me to talk about on the podcast, and one of the most requested topics was for me to talk about what my week looks like. 

I actually LOVE this question because I think some of you may be getting a slightly skewed image of me as someone who perfectly knows how to manage her life and has all her ducks in a row. 

This is just another symptom of our perfectionist thinking that our brain uses to make us feel safe - and that you’re projecting on me. 

Trust me: I am far from perfect, and that’s totally OK. 

So on this Episode I am going to take you along with me throughout my week, and share a little bit of how I’ve organised things to help my smart mind, what I still find hard, and how I keep things (very!) interesting. 

Enjoy!

Monday

OK, so it’s Monday morning. And I have to admit I do always wake up excited because I genuinely LOVE my work. Now as some of you already know I batch my work, because task switching costs me a ton of energy. And Monday is coaching day. 

But let’s start with my morning ritual. 

I tend to wake up naturally between 6 and 7am unless I’ve been overstimulated the night before, in which case I’ll probably sleep in until 8. 

I never need to set an alarm clock - I just wake up, which is super cool. And also super weird because I have pretty severe time blindness when it comes to projects, but when it comes to the 24hr cycle my body seems to know exactly what time of day it is!

So I wake up, and the first thing I’ll do is slip on a very soft and comfortable bathrobe and then go downstairs to make my first cup of coffee. Once I’ve got that I sit down on the sofa with my iPad to…

Bet you were thinking I was going to do something massively productive here, right? 

Nope. 

This is the moment I ease into the day by playing a game or two of Hearthstone, which is a kind of strategic card game World of Wordcraft spin-off. 

After having my ass got kicked by a random 14yr old called xx2018LordofDoom - or after kicking someone else’s booty, I get up to make myself some breakfast. 

I eat the exact same breakfast every day - unless I’m travelling or my husband or daughter decides to cook something amazing. 

Blueberries - salted almonds - brazil nuts - full fat yoghurt. 

That’s it. Same thing every day and it is PERFECT. 

As you’ll know if you’ve ever attended my workshops on Decision making I love to create rules to make my life easier and this is one of them. 

Is it boring? Yes. Of course. 

And don’t get me wrong, I LOVE food, I’m a total foodie - but when I have the time and attention for it. In the morning my brain is usually way out there thinking about podcast topics, coaching clients, new models and content to create, books I’m reading, etc. 

Adding decisions about breakfast to the mix will be very counterproductive. 

I’ll also have a very nice cup of tea - I love Jasmine or most Pukka teas (no they did not pay me to talk about them and YES I absolutely love them and their beautiful packaging design). 

Then if I remember I take my magnesium concoction and Vitamin D pills. I get out the pills and then often find them 10 minutes later still sitting on the table because - ADHD brain. Not a problem, I’ll just get more water and swallow them. 

Then I’ll get cleaned up and dressed. 

Again, I’ve made it very easy on my brain with regards to my outfit. Yes, I love beautifully designed clothes. AND I have limited decision making capacity. 

So I wear exactly the same pair of black leggings and socks every day. I think I have at least 30 pairs of black leggings and socks in different thicknesses so I can adjust depending on the weather - AND I can batch my laundry. This also makes shopping (which I hate) VERY easy. Buy more of the same thing. 

I even do this with dresses - if I come across a dress I love, which is both beautiful and comfortable, I’ll just buy 2 or even 3 of the same model. 

So I pick a fun dress to wear with the black leggings and choose a beautiful blend of perfume to set the stage for how I want to feel that day. I think I’ve talked about how perfume can quickly get you into a state before on the podcast,  for me it is a great tool to instantly make me feel inspired, comforted, or energised - whatever I need on that particular day and that particular moment. 

Then I’m ready for the next thing I need to figure out - which is how I’m going to feed myself on that particular day. I’ll quickly try to figure out whether I have food in my office, whether there is something at home I can quickly grab, or whether I need to stop by the supermarket. 

This then determines my itinerary to my beautiful studio space - which I try to vary as much as possible so I do not die of commuter boredom. 

I put on my life-saving Sony noise-cancelling headphone, play some music to fit my mood (again - a state-setting device) and either walk or catch a tram and then walk some more. 

This is where I do a lot of creative and associative thinking - where I find solutions to problems, connect dots, etc. And I have learned the hard way that I cannot in any way trust myself to remember all my ideas, so I will often stop walking for a second to make a note on my iPhone (no, I do not use voice memos because that to me add just another extra layer to my brain management system that I don’t want to deal with). 

I walk up the stairs of the beautiful old building where my studio is housed, hoping to avoid any human interaction because shy, introverted and autistic, and then I step into my 120 square meters private think tank/lab/podcast studio/all the things. 

First things first: I’ll make myself a nice cup of coffee, and then sit down and check my mail and look at what’s on my schedule for that day. 

Again, I give myself time to ease into things - transitions are hard on my brain and I’ve accepted that I can’t just walk in and ‘switch on’. 

Maybe I’ll read some articles, post something on LinkedIn…and then it’s time for something massively important: setting alarms for every single appointment I have that day. 

I set 2-3 alarms for every meeting. One 10 minutes before, often another 5 mins before and then the last one 2 mins before. 

This may sound insane but this is what my brain needs. Again, I need to ease into the next meeting - so I start preparing 10 minutes beforehand. 

Then I’ll get distracted - so I need another reminder. 

And then I’ll probably be prepared and ready with 3 minutes to go - and get distracted AGAIN - hence the final reminder. 

It works beautifully - and where in the past I may have beaten myself up about something like this (why can’t you just remember) I now simply applaud myself for having figured out how to do this in a way that works for me. 

If there’s time left before the first appointment I’ll move on to other things like writing, studying, admin - whatever feels good in the moment. I’ve learned to trust my intuition on this. 

And then it’s time to meet clients! So fun! And this is where my hyperfocus serves me so well…during sessions, the only thing that exists for me is the amazing human being in front of me. 

So I go into these beautiful coaching bubbles - and in between I try to take good care of myself and my body. 

I’ll self-regulate through dancing, using my rainbow power hoop, meditating with the Headspace app, walking about the office, playing with paint, building Lego - again, whatever feels good in the moment. 

I also try to make tea although this admittedly can take at least 5 tries - I am currently testing a new rule where I have to stay in the pantry until the kettle has boiled and the tea is made!

Another thing that I have to remind myself of is to eat. Much as I love food, my work is so fun and all-encompassing that it takes a lot of effort to pull away from it to fix food and eat it.  So again, I try to make it as easy as possible by bringing ready-made salads or other things that don’t take any executive functioning other than ‘open this container’. Sometimes I forget, and that is where my emergency jar of cooled peanut butter comes in handy. 

After my final client session I again need some time to wind down and transition into making my way home again. I’ll do things like water the plants, tidy up some stuff, or wash the coffee cups. 

Then it’s off to home where usually a delicious home-cooked meal awaits me. During dinner we, as a family, like to solve the NYT Spelling Bee of that day, in addition to sharing what our day was like and just appreciating the lovely food. 

In the evening I may do some more work, read a book, watch a movie, take a bath - again, pretty much whatever feels good. 

And then it’s time to go off to bed.  I mostly fall asleep quite easily but when I’m overexcited and my brain is spinning with ideas and thoughts I use the Headspace sleepcasts which are just brilliant. And on the rare occasions that fails I listen to a very boring audiobook on the history of economics or something.

Wow. So that’s what Monday looks like!

Then comes Tuesday - and by now you know the drill, it’s all the same. So easy. 

Now Tuesday is podcast day. I’ve already been thinking about the topics I want to talk about or the guest I’m going to interview for most of the week so this is where I finalise my outlines, and sometimes I do that in a cafe rather than in my studio because, again - my brain needs variety. 

Creating the podcast also involves a lot fo what I call ‘faffing about’. Writing stuff down, then walking away from it, maybe doing something with my hands for a while, getting new ideas, then drawing a big mind-map on my flipover, creating schematics, again, going off to do something completely different - lots of back and forth. 

I’ve learned to trust this process - that this is how I create the best stuff.

Then the moment will come when either my podcast guest appears (again, three alarms!) or I record on my own. 

As you’ll probably expect by now I have lots of systems in place for the podcast too so that anything that can be automated is automated. 

I’ll record, do a little editing, create the cover, and then upload and schedule for publication. 

And then it’s time for…date night! On Tuesday I do fun things with my husband. We love to go see a movie, try a new restaurant, or stay at home and watch a great movie or SXSW talks or whatever we feel like. Because I am extremely sensitive to sound I bring my headphones to the movie theatre, and we try and pick restaurants that are relatively quiet and not so sensory overwhelming. 

Am I always able to go out? Nope. Sometimes I’ve already depleted all my ‘being around humans’ resources for the day, which means we stay at home. And over the years I’ve learned to simply communicate this with my partner instead of pushing myself to do something I couldn’t really do and then having a meltdown. 

Ok, so now it’s Wednesday!

This is usually a mix of meeting friends or colleagues, studying and client sessions.

Because my client schedule on Wednesdays is lighter I may wonder about town a bit in the morning, go to a bookstore, have coffee with a friend, etc. Or have a virtual meetup with someone. 

Then, again, it’s off to the studio, taking time to transition, setting the alarms, and doing the coaching. 

Thursday is networking and deep thinking day - and on Friday there is more coaching and, in the evening, connecting with friends if I’m not taking my daughter to her Jiu Jitsu practice. 

I work every other Saturday (which I love, because the building I work in is then completely deserted, SO GOOD). On the Saturdays I don’t work we love to go and look at art. This can be at a museum or gallery nearby, but we’ll also happily drive 100 miles or more. These visits usually give me lots of ideas and inspiration and are incredibly nourishing as well as fun. I also inevitably end up buying heaps of books wherever it is we go. 

I often need to take a nap after these to recharge - so we try to make it home by around 3-4 pm. 

Then there is usually another beautiful, somewhat more elaborate, home-cooked meal after which we’ll do something together as a family. We love board games, but also to create this ‘books and blankets’ huddle on the sofa and just read, or to watch a film or series together. 

On Sundays, if our daughter doesn’t have a concert, we like to go for a walk in nature. We live in the inner city, and we all crave to spend time with trees, or the sea. So we’ll drive to a nature reserve or the beach and go for a nice walk. 

If the weather really really sucks we may stay inside instead and play games, make or listen to music, or read more. 

If necessary I’ll do some batch laundry - and we may also meet up with friends.

But mostly Sundays are a quiet affair - unless we also go on an art trip. 

And that’s my regular Monday-Sunday for you! 

Now as you may have noticed I do not spend any time on grocery shopping (other than sourcing lunch and coffee) or cleaning the house. We’ve outsourced this and our lives are so much better for it! And I am insanely lucky to have both a daughter and partner who love to cook, and who aren’t as dysregulated by a quick trip to the supermarket for missing ingredients as I am. 

I also try to batch my activities to reduce task switching. 

And then I have a ton of tools and hacks to keep me on track and well-regulated throughout the day - more about which in a later Episode. 

So if I had to reduce all of this to my personal (and remember, these are ALWAYS personal, you have to figure out what works for you with your unique brain) rules for living, they would look something like this:

Coach Kramer’s Rules for Living

1. Make as many decisions as you can ahead of time by turning them into rules/rituals (i.e. same leggings, breakfast, etc.)
2. Within the constraints you have, switch things up to keep things interesting (vary your route to work, randomly open an art book to get inspired, etc.)
3. Batch activities as much as possible to preserve energy you’d need expend on task switching
4. Automate or delegate ANYTHING that you’re not great at if you can (in my case: shopping, alarms, cleaning, admin, etc.)
5. Figure out your own ideal conditions in which you can thrive (for me: a massive space with lots of different desks for different tasks, thinking on massive sheets of paper, plenty of time to let my subconscious figure things out, etc.). 
6. Try to UNDERschedule instead of overscheduling. I have tons of blank space on my calendar that may look ‘unproductive’ but actually it’s what makes me both flexible and insanely productive. I have had burnout twice in my life and I never want to live and work like that again. I can’t fix my time blindness, but now inhabit a beautiful sense of spaciousness when it comes to my work and again, that works miracles for my energy level. 
7. Do as much of the things that light you up as you possibly can
8. Use simple ‘prompts’ to get you in the right state, e.g. perfume, music, etc. 
9. Accept your own wants, needs and desires. I’ve long held the belief that I needed to be more outgoing and sociable. No more! Which means I now actually get to ENJOY staying at home to read a book.

In general, treat the way you organise your life as a breathing, living, constantly evolving thing that you get to readjust whenever you deem it necessary. 

And never, EVER, shame yourself about having to organise or do something differently from the average human. 

You get to do what works for YOU. 

OK, I hope that was helpful in giving you some ideas to both optimise your life and to give you permission to be even more YOU. 

Have a fabulous week, 

Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer

Want to fall back in love with your life and work? Then I can help. DM me on LinkedIn, or Instagram to learn how you can work with me, or email me via podcast@elsekramer.com. 

Thank you for listening to the Managing the Smart Mind Podcast, I love that at 

the time of recording this, there are smart humans listening in 95 countries! I really appreciate you - do send me any questions or requests for topics you have. And if you enjoy the podcast I’d love for you to give it a five-star review so other smart humans can find it - thank you!