Episode 7 - Decision Making - Part 1

This week we’re diving into something my clients ask about all the time: decision making. Because this is such a big topic I’ve spread it out over two episodes. 

In this episode, I’ll explain how your smart mind actually makes it extra HARD for you to make decisions. 

I’ll show you all the smart ways in which it tries to block you from making decisions - and how to fix that. 

And in the next episode I’ll tell you how to make sure whether you made the right decision, and teach how to get better at decision-making. 

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Transcript

Episode 7 - Decision Making Part 1

Welcome to the managing your smart mind podcast with your host, Else Kramer, a.k.a. Coach Kramer. 

This week we’re diving into something my clients ask about all the time: decision making. Because this is such a big topic I’ve spread it out over two episodes. 

In this episode, I’ll explain how your smart mind actually makes it extra HARD for you to make decisions. 

I’ll show you all the smart ways in which it tries to block you from making decisions - and how to fix that. 

And in the next one I’ll tell you how to make sure whether you made the right decision, and teach how to get better at decision-making. 

But first, a little detour, if you’ll allow me.  

Think about your smart mind for a moment. 

Do you believe everything it tells you? 

Every thought it offers? 

If so, you’re going to have to stop doing that. 

Your smart brain often lies to you. 

It will wildly exaggerate risks, underestimate your capabilities, tell you you don’t know enough about whatever it is you want to do, and so on and so forth. 

And it has a very good reason to do this: it wants to keep you safe. 

It wants to make sure you don’t get cast out of the tribe, that you don’t experience uncomfortable emotions, because those will a. Upset the energy balance and could eventually, b. Lead to your demise. 

I will talk more about the mechanics of this in future episodes, but for now, suffice to say, you need to start taking your thoughts with a grain of salt. 

Especially when it comes to decision making. 

Here’s the first belief about decisions your brain may, consciously or not, be holding, that you want to challenge: 

The belief that you can predict the future. 

Now you may mutter ‘of course I don’t think I can know the future, but I am pretty good at predicting what will happen - I can create projections based on past experiences which will have a high likelihood of recurring’. 

And it seems to make sense, to be smart, to base your decisions on projections into the future. 

But not if you use this as an excuse to avoid making actual decisions. 

If your thoughts branch out into dozens of decision trees, with lots of different possibilities you now need to all weigh against each other. 

You may even spend hours creating Excel sheets will weighted pros and cons. 

This is exhausting. But in addition, it also stops you from creating real change in your life. 

You do not know the future (recent world events are humbling reminders that none of us do) - so you may want to revisit your belief that making decisions should be based on past experience. 

If you keep using the past to make decisions about the future, it will be very unlikely that you will create something completely new in your life. 

And isn’t that what your smart mind craves? 

So yes, by all means, allow yourself ten minutes or so to do a little risk analysis if you must, but then let it go. 

Because who knows what might happen? 

(And if you still think you do know, please get in touch so we can buy a bunch of lottery tickets together). 

OK, so decision making is hard for your smart mind because:

1. Your brain thinks it can and should project into the future to protect you from making mistakes,
2. Thus making you run around in circles until you’re too exhausted to even make a decision.

That’s the first way in which it’s harder. 

But there’s more. 

Your mind also believes that if you spend more time making a decision, it will end up being a better decision, because you will KNOW MORE, and knowledge is golden, right? 

Let’s research some more into that camera you have been wanting to buy for four months. 

Let’s check more reviews.

Compare prices. 

Ask a couple more photographers. 

Oh and look, this new model is being launched soon, I better wait until then. 

Optimise, optimise, optimise. 

Seems so smart, right? 

You’ll end up with the best camera at the lowest possible price. 

Maybe. 

But even if so, what is the actual price you’re paying? 

Hours of research.

Hours of weighing pros and cons.

Hours of indecision. 

Weeks, if not months, of not having a camera you want to have, using it, enjoying it. 

Actually taking pictures.

It’s a massive cost that our smart mind doesn’t see. 

Decision-optimisation can be incredibly expensive. 

And this is a good time for your to pause and take an honest look at some decisions you’ve been putting off. 

Are you trying to optimise them? If so, what is this costing you? 

You may want to give yourself a little deadline here, so you can optimise your life rather than your research. 

Last but not least: your brain doesn’t want you to make mistakes, because they tend to cost a lot of glucose. 

So it will create a lot of FEAR around decision-making. Again, this usually shows up as lots of lies about the terrible things that will happen to you when you screw up. 

Interestingly, it doesn’t scare you with what will happen if you don’t make a decision. 

Which makes asking that question, the question how much it will cost you to procrastinate on your decision, the perfect way to counteract all these smart mind shenanigans. 

If your brain tells you you’re not ready to make a decision, that something terrible will happen, etc., ask:

What will happen if I don’t make this decision? 

What will it cost me to put it off? 

To take more time thinking about it, researching it, etc.?

And does it make sense to pay that price, or is it much more effective to just decide, right now? 

It’s usually the latter. 

Bold decision-making is a super power - it creates confidence, great businesses, and a very interesting life. 

If this is something you want to learn, I can help you. 

Reach out via my website, coachkramer.org, or send me a message on LinkedIn. 

If there is a specific topic you’d love to see covered on this podcast, or someone you’d love to see interviewed, please let me know on: podcast@elsekramer.com. 

And if you liked this episode I’d love for you to leave a review so more people can find the podcast and learn to manage their smart mind. 

Else Kramer (00:00:15) - Welcome to the Managing the Smart Mind Podcast with your host, coach Kramer. This is episode seven, decision Making part one.

Else Kramer (00:00:44) - Now this week we're diving into something my clients ask me about all the time decision making. And because this is such a big topic, I've actually spread it out over two episodes. This is part one, and in this episode I will explain how your smart mind actually makes it extra hard for you to make decisions. I'll show you all the smart ways in which it tries to block you from making them and how to fix that. And then in part two, the next episode, I'll tell you how to make sure whether you have made the right decision and I will teach you how to get better at the whole decision making thing. But first, a little detour. If you'll allow me think about your smart mind for a moment. Do you believe everything he tells you every thought it offers? If so, you're going to have to stop doing that because here's the news, your smart brain often lies to you. It actually wildly exaggerate risks. It will underestimate your capabilities. It will tell you you do not know enough about whatever it is you want to do and so on and so forth. And it has a very good reason to do this. It wants to keep you safe. It wants to make sure you don't get cast out of the tribe, that you never experience uncomfortable emotions because those all a upset the energy balance and could eventually B, lead to your demise. And listen, , that is not what your brain wants. It wants to live forever.

Else Kramer (00:02:34) - Now, I'll talk more about the mechanics of this in future episodes, but for now, suffice to say that you need to start taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, especially when it comes to decision making. Now, here's the first belief about decisions your brain may consciously or not beholding, that I want you to challenge the belief that you can predict the future. Now, you may matter, , of course, I don't think I can know the future, but I'm pretty good at predicting what will happen. I can create projections based on past experiences, which will have a high likelihood of recurring, or in other words, I can guesstimate the future. And it makes to be, it seems to make sense. It seems to be very smart to base your decisions on projections into the future, but not if you use this as an excuse to avoid making actual decisions.

Else Kramer (00:03:43) - If your thoughts branch out into dozens of decision trees with lots of different possibilities, which you now need to all weigh against each other, you may even spend hours creating beautiful Excel sheets with all the weighted pros and cards. And trust me, I've been there, especially by the way when buying a house. Now, this is first of all exhausting. It's a lot of work. It's an energy drain. But in addition, it also stops you from creating real change in your life because you do not know the future. And recent world events like pandemic or in Ukraine are very humbling reminders that none of us do. So you may want to revisit your belief that making decisions should be based on past experience, but also if you keep using the past to make decisions about the future, it'll be very unlikely that you will create something completely new in your life.

Else Kramer (00:04:53) - And isn't that exactly what your smart mind craves? So yes, by all means, allow yourself 10 minutes or so to do a little risk analysis if you must maybe a little longer if you're buying a house, but then let it go, because who knows what might happen. And by the way, if you still think you do know, please get in touch so we can buy a bunch of lottery tickets together and have some fun. Okay? So decision making first of all, is hard for your smart mind because it thinks it can and should project into the future to protect you from making mistakes, thus making you run around in circles until you're too exhausted to even make a decision. That's the first way in which it's harder if you have a smart mind. But my friend there is more. Your mind also believes that if you spend more time making a decision, it will end up being a better decision because you will know more.

Else Kramer (00:05:55) - And knowledge is golden, right? Let's research some more into that camera you've been wanting to buy for four months. Let's check some more reviews. Let's compare prices. Ask a couple more photographers. Oh, and look, this new model is being launched soon. I better wait until then. Basically, your brain tells you to optimize, optimize, optimize. And again, it seems so smart, right? You think you'll end up with the best camera for you at the lowest possible price. Yeah, maybe. But even if you do, what is the actual price you're paying? There's hours of research, hours of weighing pros and cons, hours of indecision, weeks, if not months of not having a camera. You want to have using it, enjoying it, taking amazing pictures with it. This is a massive cost that our smart mind doesn't see.

Else Kramer (00:07:08) - Decision optimization can actually be incredibly expensive. So this is a good time to pause and for you to take an honest look at some decisions you've been putting off. Are you trying to optimize them? And if so, what is this actually costing you? You may even want to give yourself a little deadline here so you can optimize your life rather than your decision research. Okay, so we can't project into the future, or at least we think we can. We can't know the future. And optimization. Well, it seems efficient and smart can actually be incredibly expensive. There's another thing, your brain doesn't want you to make mistakes because they tend to cost a lot of glucose, not to mention  eventually leading again to your device, which we don't want. So your brain will create a lot of fear around decision making. Again, this usually shows up as lots of lies about all the terrible things that will happen to you when you screw up.

Else Kramer (00:08:18) - Interestingly, your brain does not scare you with what will happen if you don't make a decision, which means that asking that actual question, what will happen if you don't make a decision, is the perfect way to contract all these brain shenanigans. So instead of listening to all the scaremongering, all the fear, next time your brain tells you you're not ready to make a decision that something terrible will happen, et cetera, et cetera, ask these questions. What will happen if I don't make this decision? What will it cost me to put it off to take more time? Thinking about it, researching it, et cetera, and does it make sense to pay that price or is it much more effective to just decide right now?

Else Kramer (00:09:14) - Spoiler alert, it's usually the latter. And here's the most important thing. Bold decision making is actually a superpower. It creates confidence, great businesses and careers, and a very interesting life. And if this is something you want to learn, I can help you reach out to me via my website, coach cramer.org, or send me a message on LinkedIn. And if there's a specific topic you'd love to see covered on this podcast or someone you'd love to see interviewed, please let me know on podcast@elsakramer.com. And if you liked this episode, I'd love for you to leave a review so more people can find the podcast and learn to manage their smart mind. And I'll see you in the next episode, decision Making part two. Hey, smart human, are you on my mailing list? And if not, why not? Because that is where you get the Friday thoughts and you will be the first one to know about podcast workbooks, new coaching programs, all the things. So go to coach kramer.org, click newsletter, and sign up. I look forward to being in your.